Rock the Boat

I was standing in the kitchen at the sink washing dishes and thinking.  I came to the realization that the one thing I’m always afraid of doing is rocking the boat.  When I was married I never wanted to rock the boat because I never wanted to argue.  I hated arguing.  Still do.  And really who does anyway? But even know in my new relationship I’ve realized I don’t want to rock the boat either.  That doesn’t mean that I’m being a puppet and agreeing with everything but it does mean that sometimes there are things I want to question or talk about and I don’t because I don’t want to argue for fear of him walking away.  Crazy huh?  Here’s an example; he and I share most of the household expenses.  We don’t have a joint bank account.  I have mine and he has his.  He’s seen my online banking page and knows pretty much what little investments I have.  I have a rough idea of his finances but I’ve never actually seen his online banking page.  The few times I’ve asked him to see it he says either “you know everything I have” or “I don’t have my wallet handy to sign on to the page but I’ll do it later.”  And the later never comes.  Most of the time I let it go.  Last night I asked again and he asked me if I didn’t trust him.  I do but I’m just curious.  Is that wrong?  If any of you reading this have individual bank accounts are you privy to your partner’s bank accounts? Do you care? Or am I being too nosy??

 

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One thought on “Rock the Boat

  1. WOW, this is a really really tough issue. Have you tried to be open about your feelings with him? It’s not even a question of being nosy, you just want to be offered the same transparency that you are giving him by letting you see your account. Sigh…

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